Monday, May 24, 2010

Friday Fun

* Graduation - Finally graduated from high school. I was so eady to be done. Now I can jump into the real world of college and work. Woo Whoo! I got the David Gadd Scholarship for $500. That was happy. Now I'll have money to spend on books.

* Met Chad's family - I was so scared to meet all the cousins and aunts and uncles and everyone! What if they didn't like me? What if I said something dumb again? What if? What if? However it turned out fine. It was still a bit awkward, but by far not as bad as I thought it was going to be. And now Ive met the fam! It can only go up hill from here.

* After Party - I had an awesome after party at my house My amazing mother was the best host ever. Everyone loved her. We sat around drinking apple cider and playing Apples to Apples. We also watched the movie 21, and some of the Office. Then almost everyone went to sleep. It was a wonderful night.

So that was my Friday fun!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Right and Wrong

Jeffrey Goines once said,
“There is no such thing as right and wrong, there's just popular opinion.”

I disagree. We all know some things are very black and white. Right and wrong. To kill another person is wrong. To feed a starving child is right. But what about the things that are in the gray area? The classic example used: Is it wrong for a man to steal to feed his dying family? In a hypothetical world I would say, yes it would be wrong. But when in the real world you see his skeleton wife beast feeding a tiny sick baby. His other hungry children wallowing in the dirt. What then?

Why do some people see things as wrong, which others would see as right? How do we know who is correct? I think the only way to know is to be in touch with your heart. And as long as your heat is in touch with God, you will know.

Where this breaks down is for those of us who aren't in touch with our hearts. I struggle with feelings. I have to work hard to know what I'm feeling and why. Emotions are weird things. Emotions of hurt, happiness, love, anger, confusion, distress, neediness, joy, anticipation, and sadness. I think I let my emotions get the best of me without even knowing I'm having said emotions. I love using the example of Newtons law of motion. For every action, there is a reaction. Many times I react without being able to identify and analyze the original action (or emotion). Lately I've been feeling ugly. I just don't feel beautiful, or pretty. Unnamed persons have told me I need to do such and such if I want to be beautiful. That I need to be skinnier, and more fit. Without recognizing my hurt from these comments I set out to prove to myself I was good enough. I chose a reaction without knowing the reason for it. I devised a way in which I would be seen as beautiful. However, even this backfired on me. And now I see even more then ever, how important it is to be in touch with your heart. If I had been able to identify my feelings of hurt and rejection I might have been able to chose a more appropriate reaction. I hope with time I will be able to get in touch with my heart so I can see an action before making a rash reaction.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

El Fin

The End.

School is coming to an end. Only ten days of High School remain. Im ready to move on. To start life, to start an adventure. Im ready.

Today was the last class before finals. On Tuesday I have my Geology Final, and on Wednesday I have my Spanish Final.

The dizzy spin of High School is coming to an end. The whirlwind of college is about to begin.