What the heck

Life. We plan, we scheme, we chart. We keep schedules, make appointments, create deadlines. But does it work out like that? No. It doesn't. Why? Why doesn't life work out the way we want it to? The way we plan for it to. Why don't things happen within the deadlines we set? Why doesn't life keep up with our charted out schedules?

I'm feeling a bit frustrated, and upset at life. Its not working out like I wanted.

As my plans keep unfurling, I'm starting to realize that it isn't supposed to work out the way we want. That's what makes it life. Our Plan A crumbles into a pile of nothing, and what are we left with? Well, a mess to sweep up. But also we are left with the realization that we aren't in control.

So, I'm not in control. Crap. Now what?

When I was thinking about plans, and life, and how it just doesn't seem to be working out at all, I thought about a verse I found when my parents were going through their divorce.

Matthew 6:31-34 "... do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat? or 'What shall we drink? or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

What an amazing verse. One of my favorite parts in when it gives the example of the lily. Take any flower. Even just a little grass weed flower. The delicate petals gracefully wrap themselves around the yellow heart of the masterpiece. A perfect combination. God dresses the flowers so excellently. Weeds suck, and we try to kill them. We are so much more important then weeds. If He cares so much about a little weed, to make it so beautiful, just think what He wants to do for us?

I'm starting my quest of letting to and letting the master planner take control of my schedule.

Friday Fun

* Graduation - Finally graduated from high school. I was so eady to be done. Now I can jump into the real world of college and work. Woo Whoo! I got the David Gadd Scholarship for $500. That was happy. Now I'll have money to spend on books.

* Met Chad's family - I was so scared to meet all the cousins and aunts and uncles and everyone! What if they didn't like me? What if I said something dumb again? What if? What if? However it turned out fine. It was still a bit awkward, but by far not as bad as I thought it was going to be. And now Ive met the fam! It can only go up hill from here.

* After Party - I had an awesome after party at my house My amazing mother was the best host ever. Everyone loved her. We sat around drinking apple cider and playing Apples to Apples. We also watched the movie 21, and some of the Office. Then almost everyone went to sleep. It was a wonderful night.

So that was my Friday fun!

White Winged Dove

"Just like the white winged dove, sings a song, sounds like shes singing. The clouds never expect it when it rains. But the sea changes colors, but the sea never changes. And so with the slow graceful flow of age, I went forth...."

Today I got an amazing email. It said that I got the Board of Governor's Fee Waiver!! Im so happy! I cant wait to get out there. Get started with life. Move on to bigger and better tings. This is one of the first steps towards growing up.



Im ready to sing my own song.